03: A Father Who Serves
The Beach Boys (left to right: Dad, me, and my brothers, Trevor, Garrett, & Hayden)
“Up and at ‘em, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”
My dad greets me with something along these lines every morning. Today, in honor of Father’s Day, I invite you, dear reader, to get to know that man, husband and father of four, Sam Garner (henceforth referred to as “Dad”). Despite what his morning wake-up call might sound like, he is not a mean old drill sergeant. In fact, when I surveyed my friends and family for phrases and adjectives describing Dad (dad-jectives, if you will), a wealth of words and phrases came up. Here’s a sampler platter of my favorite responses…
Servant
Godly
Dependable
Silent giver
Sacrificial
Witty
Generous
Wise
Faithful
Consistent
Steady
Logical
Trustworthy
Protector
Role model
Intentional
Clever
Cowboy
Mustache (a contender for my favorite!)
Words like “servant,” “dependable,” “caring” appeared repeatedly. A constant theme people see in Dad is a spirit of giving, a faithful heart of service. Dad became a father with the arrival of my oldest brother Garrett in 1992, then Hayden in ‘95, followed by Trevor in ‘98. I came around for the grand finale in 2001, as the youngest of the Garner boys. We have lived a lot of life together, and let me tell ya, it’s extremely difficult to convey all of it in a single post. Should I tell the reader about how dad used to pray with me every night before bed, or the nights we spent gathered around the TV watching Andy Griffith, all the corny jokes he tells when we’re out in public, or the stunts he and I would do together at the pool? What about the years of sports, church camps, plays, choir concerts he and my mom faithfully attended? Surely they should hear about how he and my mom have been happily, lovingly married for 42 years, and how they have been a unified front, ensuring their kids were faithfully involved in church, having plenty of opportunities to hear about God loving them enough to die in their place that they might know eternal life?
My perfectionist, detail-oriented brain has procrastinated this post due in large part to doubts that I could bring it all together in a meaningful way. All three of my brothers, my mom and many others who know him could likely write their own blog posts about Dad, but this ain’t their blog, is it? If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Logan, and this is my blog, where I share about my life, typically through the lens of my disability, as I learn to boast in my weakness so that Jesus can work His will in me for His glory. (For more context here, mosey on over to my previous posts!). As I reflect on sharing who my father is to me, I want to key in on the same thing my friends and family did: Dad is a model of daily Christlike love with a servant’s heart.
Maybe you’re not familiar with the concept of a “servant’s heart.” It’s sort of a churchy concept, but it is an essential aspect of Jesus’ nature and mission. In the passages below, we see that Jesus Himself, though fully God, became fully man, serving others, ultimately giving His life that we might know freedom from evil and have life with Him forever. He calls each of those who follow Him to grow in their focus on others as well.
'It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” ' (Matthew 20:26-28)
'Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. ' (Philippians 2:4-6,8)
You may be bristling at the idea of being a “slave,” or giving your life for someone, and that fear is understandable. Jesus is not saying that all Christians are meant to be martyred for their faith. While some have been called to that, the assurance Christ’s own death and rising brings to every believer is that we have life, our brokenness and separation from God has been atoned for, and there is a heavenly home we await. Until then, we are to reflect that hope and joy for others by imitating Christ, giving of our selves, resources, time, etc. Being a dad of a child with a disability means God has called my dad into a special kind of service. While my peers are largely self-sufficient, living on their own, providing for themselves, Dad has been my primary caregiver for my entire life, even into my adulthood. Every day, he faithfully gets me up out of bed, helps me shower and get ready, then takes me to work. While I’m at work or writing, you might find him spending time with Mom, expertly mowing the lawn, cleaning the pool, scheduling appointments or going back and forth with my insurance company about why they’re not covering certain things. As I write this, I’m sitting in my totally rad lime green wheelchair with standing function, which would not be possible without my Dad’s hard work and persistence to get it. He also built the desk I’m sitting at in the bedroom he designed, along with the majority of our house, to be totally accessible for me, doorways and all.
Please, dear reader, don’t read this post and take away that I’m the model loving son or that Dad is perfect. When I was younger, I don’t think I really “saw” the significance of all Dad did for me, for us. We laughed together, he comforted me, prayed with me, but there were plenty of times at school or with friends that I wished my parents didn’t have to chaperone or drive me places, I wanted independence. I realize that Dad made a point to come along, not to be a helicopter parent, but to ensure I could be included wherever possible. Nowadays, I might wake up grumpy and impatient with Dad, wishing he didn’t tease me so much. However, I’m reminded that without Dad, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed and start the day at all. (Yes, my mom can help and does when she’s needed, but Dad is better built for lifting my big ol’ self.) I’m reminded that without Dad’s service, I’d have to figure out how to get to the toilet myself, and would probably pee myself frequently. I’m sure that he doesn’t love cleaning up after me (in a literal or figurative sense). I know he gets frustrated when we’re in the car and I’m paying more attention to my phone than him, or when I turn too quickly in our house and scrape up walls. He is human, as am I. Yet, he continues to show up as a follower of Christ, husband, father and friend, each and every day, even when he’s not feeling 100%. He doesn’t just do the bare minimum, but serves with joy, typically with a word of wisdom, something he’s learned from Scripture, a nonsensical saying, or corny joke. Dad doesn’t know I’m writing this post for him, so he’ll be reading it for the first time along with all of you. He’s also not the type to seek the spotlight, but I want to honor him for stepping into the role for which God has equipped him.
Finally, let me be clear, dear reader, that the best takeaway from all of this is not that Sam Garner is the greatest father in the world. He is a great dad, husband and leader, but that greatness comes from his relationship with Christ, who modeled humble service and immense sacrifice in the name of the Heavenly Father. Perhaps you’re reading this and you are reminded of your dad who sacrifices for you. Maybe you don’t have a healthy relationship with your dad, maybe you don’t know them or they’ve passed. I pray that no matter your circumstance today, you would know your Heavenly Father, who truly does care for you.
To Dad, Happy Father’s Day! I love you.
To many, Martha and Sam, to me, Mom and Dad.
Dad and I probably plotting and scheming something (and a stranger in the back, no idea who that is).